2025 is about to end – and if you still don’t know how to date, it’s completely fine. And I’ll tell you why.

My best friend ended her 12-year-old relationship a few months ago – and while it was completely heartbreaking, it was also important to understand that a comeback was absolutely necessary at this point.

My friend met her former partner 12 years ago in high school – her first everything in a romantic sense. Naturally, she didn’t get the space to explore anything romantic in the next decade. So, while being on dating apps and stepping out on dates seems normal to us, it wasn’t quite the same for her.

At 29, she was single for the first time since she was 17. Last week, over a cup of coffee, we spent an hour discussing how new the entire dating culture feels to her, especially in contrast to my love life – FYI, I met my boyfriend on Tinder nearly 7 years ago.

And then when I was coming back home, I realized that my friend wasn’t the only one – I’m sure, so many women don’t know how to date because they have invested so much time in long-drawn relationships.

It was only fair to address this in my blog on modern love – and here I’m to cover this emotionally intimate topic in detail.

How To Date? Dating With Logic

There are so many incompatible couples who choose to stay together and let the relationship run its course. But why? The answer is complex. It usually stems from a place of fear – it could be a fear of the unknown, change, or just being alone.

Also, it could stem from laziness – it’s like how we continue to stay at a job despite the toxic work culture, because it’s comfortable.

Then some people seem to thrive on turmoil and unhappiness – and have never undergone contentment, experienced a healthy relationship, or been at peace. These people think it’s normal for a relationship to be unhealthy and toxic.

Moreover, I’ve also seen so many incompatible couples with terrible relationships working hard to fix things. But if your partner doesn’t treat you right and add value to your life, then how long can you continue to love them?

I think it’s best not to live together for a certain amount of time, or co-mingle money, or even purchase things that cannot be divided. In fact, singles should try to be independent so that they can choose to leave if the relationship doesn’t work out.

You need some experience before you can find the ‘one.’ For me, jumping in too deep without testing the surface is not smart – dating without involving your brain might lead us to the wrong man, and that too for all the wrong reasons.

That is precisely why I am asking all singles to step up and take drastic action in their romantic lives. I am going to call it DWL: Dating With Logic.

Dating With Logic: What Is It?

So, what does Dating With Logic even mean?

Instead of using your feelings and instincts to act – much like animals – how about using your brain to make decisions about your dating life? I mean, aren’t humans much more evolved?

So, why not use your thoughtfulness, patience, mindfulness, and self-discipline to make decisions in your love life?

Once you start using logic to make romantic decisions, especially when you are just getting to know someone, you will automatically start making healthy choices.

That way, you will see red flags from miles ahead. The thing about red flags is: you can’t fix them. Your partner will come with them, and you will spend the next decade trying to solve them.

So, instead, you can opt for people you are compatible with and attracted to – these are the same people you can be friends with.

Once you can be friends with someone you are attracted to and are dating, your love life will become so much better.

Many, many years ago, I made a choice: after ending a painfully abusive relationship, I decided to never be with someone who pulls me down in the name of love. And the day I was about to draw that boundary, I took the first step towards finding the kind of love that lasts.

Hey, I can understand what you have been thinking – using logic and patience to make relationship choices is difficult. And most people shy away from doing it. But I think if you are conscious, you can do it. I did it – my friend is trying to do it. Why can’t you?

Having said that, here’s my guide on how to start the process with three stages of dating:

1. Pre-dating.
2. Dating.
3. Commitment.

Now, let’s look at these stages in detail.

How To Date? Stage One: Pre-Dating Scenes

In stage one, I’ve three tips for you – yep, just three:

1. Always be happy with the idea of ‘yourself’ – to experience happiness as an individual.
2. Be content with being alone – to be fine with the possibility of being on your own.
3. Keep things interesting in your life for yourself – to be busy pursuing things on your own.

1. Always Be Happy As An Individual:

This is very important.

You will never be a good partner if you are not able to love yourself first – and more importantly, respect yourself. Self-respect is the core of a healthy relationship, and you will have that only if you start loving yourself.

If you don’t value yourself, then you will never be able to move away from people who don’t respect you.

2. Be Content With Being Alone:

Again, I have seen so many people who just cannot be alone – in this case, single.

If you cannot spend time on your own, then it means you will not wait to find a healthy partner. Instead, you will settle for anyone just because you fear being alone. And this is toxic because it keeps setting you up for chaos – one messy man after another.

3. Stay Busy With Your Life:

Finally, this is yet another important point. Most people rush into relationships because they are too annoyed by being alone. Because they cannot be happy on their own and hate being alone, they end up rushing into something unhealthy.

The only way to avoid feeling like this is to keep things interesting and stay busy. If you pursue hobbies and have people around you, then you are less likely to rush into a toxic relationship. Ensure that your life is happy – doesn’t matter if you have a partner or not.

How To Date? Stage Two: Dating

In the second stage, I have four tips for you:

• Give people chances – especially the ones you usually don’t.
• Go on dates – and you should definitely step out on a few dates.
• Believe people when they show who they are – this includes the good and the bad.
• Don’t be easy with your heart – hold onto it.

1. Give People Chances:

I’ve seen this play out so many times.

Forget about your ‘types.’ The person who is compatible with you might not wear the kind of clothes you were hoping, doesn’t look like you thought about, or even live close by – but if they are decent, kind, and can hold a decent conversation with you, then why not give them a chance?

Moreover, so many people think that attraction has to be immediate. It is possible to become romantically attracted to someone after spending quality time with them, especially if they have a great personality or if you and they have a lot in common.

2. Go On Dates:

I’ve seen so many people come out of a long-standing relationship and go on a few dates before settling down again. I mean, that’s not going to work – what are the odds of finding someone good for you from two dates?

Moreover, some people don’t really know how to date – they just know how to be in a relationship.

Well, the thing is, if you like someone, then go out on a few dates – keep going out. There shouldn’t be any pressure to decide after two dates.

The moment you spot a few red flags coming out, stop stepping out. Moreover, it is also good to keep all your options open – check out what’s actually out there.

Even if you are dating someone, it does not mean you have to tell them that they are ‘The One.’ Spend time, be patient, and get to know each other. It’s like going on a test drive – instead of buying the car right away.

3. First Impressions Are Important:

If you step out a few times with someone and your date is always late, drinks way too much, overshares, or does anything that makes you uncomfortable, then just walk away.

I mean, first impressions are important, and if you find something that doesn’t sit well with you in the first few dates, you can rethink your decision. This way, you can save weeks, months, and years of exhaustion and misery.

4. Don’t Be Easy With Your Heart:

Don’t give up on your heart easily. Instead, let your date earn it. Moreover, be skeptical at first and keep those walls up until you feel safe bringing them down. Always remember that healthy relationships are known for compatibility, friendship, respect, and companionship.

Also, if your date tries to rush the whole thing and keeps on putting pressure on you, then they do not have your best interests at heart – that’s not love. Rather, it’s the fear of being alone.

How To Date? Stage 3: Getting Serious And Potential Commitment

In the third and final stage, I’ve only two major tips for you:

• Don’t rush commitment – rather ease into it.
• Commit and build a relationship – but take it easy atleast initially.

1. Don’t Rush Commitment (Ease Into It):

Commitment is crucial – it means you are off the market. And you want to go out with your date exclusively. For me, it’s a big deal – so don’t rush into it. As a result, it’s best to treat your monogamous commitment like a big deal too – or at least give it some thought.

2. Commit, But Don’t Forget To Take It Easy:

Exclusivity is good – but again, it’s a huge deal. So, once you commit, take it easy – date, fall in love, spend time. But remember, don’t rush it – don’t take impulsive decisions and end up moving together too soon.

Moreover, it’s also best to avoid buying something major together or adopting a pet. I think you should at least date for two years or more before you can decide on a lifelong commitment – don’t take major decisions based on sparks and impulse.

How To Find Someone To Date?

Meeting someone for the first time can be somewhat daunting – particularly if you have opinions, boundaries, and options.

So, whether you are feeling like the only single person around you or surrounded by loved ones, the search for ‘The One’ can be both overwhelming and exciting. Having said that, here’s how you can find someone to date – where do you look for ‘The One’

1. Dating Apps:

I met my boyfriend on a dating app – and I’m not the only one. The Knot conducted a survey in 2021 that found that one in four couples met on a dating app.

And there are so many dating apps that you can check out to find what you are looking for. In this context, check out my list of the most underrated (but really good) dating apps.

2. Go To Events:

Going to parties, gatherings, and social events is a great way to meet someone cute. Moreover, step out and enjoy – you will automatically attract the right crowd.

Also, this is an excellent way to meet new people, network, and even make a few friends. So, the next time you get an invite, don’t say ‘no.’ Also, you can consider volunteering at charity events – it’s not just a fun way to help out, but you could also meet up with others.

3. Be Open To Suggestions:

When you are single, chances are your family and friends will try giving suggestions and even setting you up. Well, why not take those suggestions and let them set you up?

Moreover, if they introduce you to someone, be open to it – you never know, you might end up meeting someone special in the most unexpected ways.

How To Date? Always With Logic!

Dating does not have to be complex – it just has to be authentic. So, whether you are diving into it headfirst for the first time or brushing up on how to date, just remember that anything real can only grow from effort, honesty, and patience.

While my guide on dating is only meant to help, remember it’s not written to pressurize you into changing your relationship status from ‘single’ to ‘committed’ overnight. Just take one step at a time, trust your gut, and enjoy the moment when it comes.