How to start a conversation with a girl – and that too on dating apps? I can’t believe people are still trying to ask these outdated questions online. At least that’s what I thought when I first came across this question online.
But in retrospection, I have decided not to judge and instead help people. I’ll tell you why. The problem is – people don’t know what to ask. Think about it. How many times have you replied to a random ‘how are you?’ on Instagram from a stranger?
Or when have you responded to people on dating apps who ask questions like ‘so, what are your hobbies?’ While it sounds out-of-the-world boring and doesn’t guarantee any replies, you know what’s worse, the occasional flirty (and super cringy) DMs.
Listen up, gentlemen! There was a time when men would fight battles for the love of their lives – in 2025, you just need to start a conversation with the right text.
You guys either appear disinterested with the generic ‘how are you doing?’ or seem just plain cringy with the flirtatious ‘let’s skip the small talk and head over for drinks.’
And while your male friends will keep advising you on what to say, don’t waste your time listening to your bros! So, keep that fragile male ego aside (sorry!) and pay attention – because I’m about to teach you how to start a conversation with a girl.
And if she doesn’t reply, you can always come back and let me know – I am personally obligated to help you out in that case.
So, here’s me taking one for the team! Stay tuned!
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl On Dating Apps? 5 Golden Hacks To Get You Started!
How to start a conversation with a girl? There are five golden hacks that always work without fail. And while some of these hacks might sound somewhat misogynistic, my friend told me the other day, only casual misogynists get laid on dating apps, simps don’t.
While I don’t quite agree with this controversial statement, I can’t help but use it to defend my five golden hacks. Don’t forget to let me know if these work – and if they don’t, remember it’s my personal obligation to make it work.
Never Text Immediately After Matching
It may sound somewhat negative, but it’s true! Yes, so you guys matched – wait it out. No need to hit her up with a ‘hello, let’s video call.’
The golden rule is: walk before you can run. So, once you match with a hot girl on a dating app, just give it at least a whole day before texting. However, use that time to do your research (I’ll explain why later).
Drop Your First Text About Anything That She Is Passionate About
This one’s very important! I just talked about how you should wait 24 hours before texting – yep, now, do your research in those 24 hours.
A hot girl is already aware of her hotness – she doesn’t need every guy to start with ‘you are so hot. What’s up?’ Rather, find out what she is passionate about – find the conversation gap and start from there. You are bound to get a reply!
Pull Away When The Conversation Peaks
Again, it might sound somewhat negative, but once you start talking to a girl for a couple of days and the conversation starts to peak, it is time to pull away. Yep, you will be able to identify that particular moment – the conversation is flowing and getting deep.
Now, slow down and wait for her to hit you up. If she does, then you can continue talking – but if she doesn’t, it’s best to either move on or wait a little longer.
Get Under Her Skin
Again, hot girls already know they are hot. So, love bombing them with compliments about how beautiful they are is not going to help. Either you dig deep and find out what she is passionate about, and strike the relatability chord. Or you piss her off – humble pissing, they call it! Yes, just pull a Kendrick Lamar and go for, ‘sit down bit**, be humble…’
But the point is to piss her off just a little before calming her down – by that time, you guys will already be in the middle of a conversation and there is no backing out.
She Knows More (And Better)
This one’s specifically applicable to all ambitious women. If she is hot and ambitious, then your best shot is to be a layman in her area of expertise.
It doesn’t matter if you know much in her area of expertise but let her feel like she not just knows more, but better. Let her do the talking – let her explain and talk about her ambitions. The point is to hook her into a light, playful, not to mention interesting conversation with you, so let her talk.
Why Is It So Difficult To Start A Conversation?
Starting any conversation can be difficult for the best of us, and when you have to do it with a stranger who is also a potential romantic interest, it becomes even harder. With digital dating, you are no longer competing with a few singles inside a bar. Rather, you are in the ocean – hundreds of other people might also match your romantic interest.
On a dating app, the competition to get noticed is naturally higher than in real-world situations. As a result, starting a conversation with a plain ‘hello,’ is not going to cut it. Yes, it is perfectly fine to start a conversation with a ‘hello,’ but you might not get a response.
Sure, your physical appearance and vibes have already made the match happen – but then what? You must hook your match with an entertaining and interesting conversation – if you are really into someone.
I met my current partner on Tinder 6 years ago. At the time, my bio read, ‘Peter Pan in disguise.’ My partner’s opening line was about Peter Pan, and I remember replying almost instantly. Of course, other guys were texting me, but I didn’t reply to them because they weren’t able to hook me into having a conversation with them.
A single text is all the difference between getting an instant response and staying on ‘seen.’ Naturally, it is normal to overthink every word, emoji, and punctuation mark.
Moreover, the fear of getting rejected is so much more terrifying than an excellent first impression. It doesn’t matter how many times you have told yourself – it’s fine, it’s no big deal,’ or ‘it’s just someone I don’t know. How does it matter?’ It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there.
